foreveralone-lyguy:

When you realize that someone is only being nice to you because they want something

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theconsultingrenegade:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

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mellarkish:

"birth control violates religious beliefs" yea ok but remember that thing called the separation of church and state

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

livethroughthesoul:

youve-been-coulsoned:

sixfigs:

robotsatankitty:

sixfigs:

Hi I’m Vero and my hobbies include :confusing people with my gender

Based on the floral bed sheets, I’m going to take a wild guess and say girl :P

Wow so you’re actually judging my gender based on the pattern of the fabric behind me. Wow great job I did not know that fabric had a gender. Good for you. You are A+ at science

Judging on looks, I’m gonna go with hot

Ohmygod I love it, I wana be hot :(

dilfgod:

bae caught me slippin

dilfgod:

bae caught me slippin

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

holysheerios:

holysheerios:

teddysfotos:

i just

I’m so sorry

PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING THIS I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT A MANGO IS BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME

Shrek La Shrek

geistygeist:

smoxz:

starcre8tor:

No trust me….you will gain 10000 life points..
Just. Listen.  [x]

i went into this expecting to not be disaponted and i was right.

Holy fuck

myfandomsareinfinite:

buckyunofficial:

hannibalscock:

GOD DAMN IT IT’S BEEN A YEAR WHO THE FUCK BROUGHT IT BACK.

WHO BROUGHT THIS BACK I THOUGJT I BURNED THIS POST WITH SALT AND FIRE I DONT WANT TO BE REMEMBERED LIKE THIS

This is hilarious

myfandomsareinfinite:

buckyunofficial:

hannibalscock:

GOD DAMN IT IT’S BEEN A YEAR WHO THE FUCK BROUGHT IT BACK.

WHO BROUGHT THIS BACK I THOUGJT I BURNED THIS POST WITH SALT AND FIRE I DONT WANT TO BE REMEMBERED LIKE THIS

This is hilarious

hate:

kitsunecoffee:

brilliantinemortality:

vagisodium:

apriki:

never forget that australias first ever winter olympics gold was won because the guy was coming dead last and everyone in front of him fell over


its happening

even better
the only reason he was in the final was bc the same thing happened in the semis
and the only reason he was in the semis was bc one of the guys that came ahead of him in the quarters was disqualified

i’m not sure if he’s the luckiest skater alive or a skater that has the power to curse other competitors.

i’ve been laughing non stop for the past like 10 minutes

hate:

kitsunecoffee:

brilliantinemortality:

vagisodium:

apriki:

never forget that australias first ever winter olympics gold was won because the guy was coming dead last and everyone in front of him fell over

its happening

even better

the only reason he was in the final was bc the same thing happened in the semis

and the only reason he was in the semis was bc one of the guys that came ahead of him in the quarters was disqualified

i’m not sure if he’s the luckiest skater alive or a skater that has the power to curse other competitors.

i’ve been laughing non stop for the past like 10 minutes

straightallies:

grumpyspacetoad:

hashtagthatsreal:

weteevee:

is this how christian couples takes baths together

I don’t understand why it needs the gender colored lighting….

straight people need reassurance at every step in their lives

no homo couple’s bathtub

straightallies:

grumpyspacetoad:

hashtagthatsreal:

weteevee:

is this how christian couples takes baths together

I don’t understand why it needs the gender colored lighting….

straight people need reassurance at every step in their lives

no homo couple’s bathtub

cestpapillon:

krampuslips:

foxes are the most important animals on earth

im going to keep reblogging this until it isn’t cute anymore

cestpapillon:

krampuslips:

foxes are the most important animals on earth

im going to keep reblogging this until it isn’t cute anymore